What does it mean to dream about someone who has died?
Dreams of someone who has died are part of grieving, and they change as grief changes. Early on they're often alive and well, as if the loss hasn't sunk in. Later dreams may carry anger, the full weight of the loss, or a sense that grief is ready to ease. Warm dreams may show something of them living on in you.
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Dreaming of someone you've lost can be comforting, painful, or both at once. These dreams are part of grieving, and they often change as grief changes, over months and sometimes years. How they were in the dream, and how you felt when you woke, say the most.
What dreaming about a loved one who died may mean
AYour mind hasn't caught up with the loss
Early on, the mind often hasn't accepted the loss yet. In the dream they're alive and well, and everything is as it was, as if you're going back over everything you remember of them.
They were alive and well, carrying on with you as before, and on waking you knew it was a dream
BAnger that they're gone
Grief has anger in it: that they left, that the time was cut short. People who cared for someone through an illness often have these dreams.
They keep appearing and you send them away
CTrying to undo what happened
Some dreams reach back to change the ending. You're caring for them again, or doing anything you can to stop it, and anger and guilt can sit side by side in the same scene.
You were caring for them while they were sick again, and couldn't make them comfortable · You got sick yourself, or were frantically giving things away to stop it happening
DThe full weight of the loss
In some dreams you realize they really aren't coming back. These are often the saddest dreams, and the ones where the loss finally sinks in.
In the dream you realized they weren't coming back, and you felt deep sadness or cried
EGetting ready to let grief ease
Later on, they may come to you and let you know it's time to stop grieving. Earlier feelings can still return for a while; grief rarely moves in a straight line.
They came to you and let you know it was time to stop grieving
FSomething keeping grief frozen
Sometimes the dreams come just as life starts moving again. That may point to something holding grief in place: a belief that moving on is disloyal, guilt about how things were between you, or an old lesson that crying is weak.
They appear just as you're about to move forward, and you feel guilty · They're angry with you while you can't cry
GLove and anger, both unfinished
Relationships don't end tidily. Years later, a dream may still be holding love and anger toward them, neither of which has been worked through.
Years later, you still dream of them in danger
HSomething of them living on in you
When they appear warm, wise or kind, and you feel that warmth in yourself, the dream may be about a quality of theirs that you now carry.
They were warm, wise or kind, and you felt that in yourself too
These are possibilities, not verdicts. The reading that fits is the one that matches the details and the feeling of your dream, and what's going on in your life.
Questions that tell the readings apart
- Q1How were they in the dream? How did you feel when you woke up?Someone carrying on as if nothing happened and someone saying goodbye belong to different moments in grief.
- Q2How long ago did they die?Early dreams and dreams that come years later often carry different feelings.
Read your own dream about a loved one who died
- Reading your dream
- Picking out the images and feelings
- Looking up what the images can mean
- Working out how the pieces fit together
- Writing your reading
- Opening checkout